Why you ask? Oh well, that has to do with the actual act of getting married. I've never wanted to get married. I'm not one of those girls who sat around in her room playing dress up in mom's veil at 7 years old, dreaming of the "most important day of my life" and how beautiful I will be as a bride. No, that wasn't me and it still isn't.
A wedding day not the most important day of a girl's life. Maybe in the stone age, when a woman's entire purpose was to find someone to club her over the head so she can pop out his babies, or in the middle ages when women were sold to their husbands for a few grand and a goat, but not today. Honestly, my graduation for my Master's and Ed.S degrees are exponentially more important than my wedding day. A wedding is just a party that two people have to celebrate their love and newfound legality as a couple. Graduating with a Master's and an Ed.S. degree is a celebration of hard work, dedication and education. Sorry, but the latter outweighs the former by several metric tons on the importance scale.
Now it's not marriage itself that grinds my gears. I love my fiance more than I can even thought was possible, and I am so happy to pledge my love to him for the rest of our lives. I'd sign a marriage contract yesterday. If that were all a wedding was about, I'd have done it months ago. But like matrix algebra, it's just not as easy as it should be.
Weddings are now something that is so commonplace that it is normal for people to have several throughout their lifetime. Divorce hasn't been a rarity in decades, and now marriage is turning into something akin to an Olympic sport for whoever can throw the biggest, most elaborate wedding, nevermind who the groom is. The wedding day has become so much more important than the lifelong marriage, and this is why it rarely lasts anymore. All that matters is being a bride for a day, being the center of attention at the world's greatest gala, and if you don't get it perfect on the first try, well there's always next time.
Marriage is supposed to be a commitment of love and life, but lately all it has become is a byproduct of weddings. Some women are so wedding crazy, wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw in a soft pink wedding gown with the "cutest little stilettos" that they'll say yes to anyone who pops down on one knee and gives them a shiny new diamond. Too often the guy is in it for love, but all he's really there for is to give her her special day and shower her with diamonds and financial stability. Not the best recipe for a 50 year marriage, but I'm sure it'll be one kick ass 4-hour wedding reception.
This by no means is a shot at people who have done the big wedding thing. If you have the money to spend and this is really what you wanted, by all means go do it. Just don't get married when all you really want is to have a wedding. Marriage lasts alot longer than weddings, and is worth waiting to have a wedding if it means sharing the rest of your life with the right person. Love > party.
I know that no matter how we do it and when, David and I will love each other forever. Because it's not the day that we want; it's the lifelong love that is officiated with our signatures on that particular day. I'd be a happy bride in a gown or a garbage bag so long as my friends and family were there to share in my happiness with me.
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